One is always learning about himself, once upon a time I watched a show of horror and gore, and wile scenes of self mutilation where being shown I felt it coming for me, I started to feel the blood leave my skin, breading become harder, my mind started to float and I felt like I was about to loose my senses.
I was force to retreat to shelter were I looked into my then pale face in a mirror. I couldn’t understand what had happen, in my mind I had not seen or done anything that could of cause this but my body was showing me wrong.
Days passed by, I looked for the same horror and gore so I could confront it again, but it was nowhere to be found, so days passed by and the other gore and horror stayed unwatched, my mind kept telling me it was because they would be boring to watch but my heart knew the truth, I feared it would return and that I might not be able to resist.
But this day having used all alternatives, the only shows that were left unseen were those I had avoided for so long, and I took the leap and dived in, all was fine but then I felt it coming for me again, I couldn’t breed my body was weakened, I growled and stood strong I would not be forced into hiding again I breathed harder and fixated my eyes on what I was seeing, I was stronger then it! I would not let myself go down like this…
In the end I passed my test, at least this time, maybe I’ve beaten it and made myself stronger beyond his reach or maybe it’s just hiding waiting for an opportunity to get me for good, only time will tell, one thing his for sure this was just round 1 and now theres no going back…